pretty despairing and dejecting to know that your own efforts for a dear dear friend had gone down the drain

words of kindness seemed to be taken in with appreciation,
moments later hurled out of the window like worthless scrap

well..
that wasnt the first time.
and precisely coz it aint the first time,
kinda evident this shouldnt happen again.

seriously dunno what i was thinking
one phone call and i threw my books away
flagged a cab and flew to your rescue.

tried to talk some sense
prolly u were high on alcohol,
as usual
that either blocked out the sensible truth,
or made you confused with nonsense

totally no fucking idea how worried we were
blood, nonsensical blabbering, blurred vision blah
struggled thru my finance paper
but still worrying bout you at the back of my mind

got ourselves into trouble becoz of you
yet there was totally no news
no appreciation
not a word of thanks
absolutely not apologetic
deluding yourself in tt facade of joyful affection.
one that the rest of the world - even you yourself - dun believe it even exists

i cant do anything bout tt.
but i dun want this thing to happen every week,
we cant be there ALL the time it happens.
all the more we dun wanna see you in such distressing pain,
the kinda torment you can easily refuse and steer clear of,
with that clear state of mind you used to have.


i pray for the day your heart can regain its sight....