Hey there.
This post is for you and just for you, although u're not reading it

my mind is in a mess right now.

Just a couple of days ago, i said we're closer as friends now.
Suddenly there's sth more to it.

this gossip is just too shocking for me to take it.




Months ago, i said......



i am really not your typical kinda girl-phwen.
i dun need those typical kinda lovey-dovey msg and phone calls
i dun want to do those typical things that you or your so-called-ex-gf did before
i dun want to hear stuffs like "Oh, we used to do XXX. Oh, she used to XXX"
i dun mind being a platform for you to move on, because i know you will want to stay on my platform once you're on it.
i dun demand you to report to me 24/7
i dun demand you to be with me 24/7
i dun demand you to go out with me and only me
i dun care if your ex-gf contact you, as long as ure clean.
i dun mind to see or hear you cry and get upset over someone else
i also dun mind if you're lazy, penniless and boring
but i really really really dun want to be a shadow of another girl.


i tot those were communicated pretty clearly before.
and u were pretty happy to hear it, coz u probably did loved me a lil' me for being like this.
simple.

and i loved you because you were like this too,
simple.

in a flash, things changed when secrets were uncovered.
but the fact is, i already knew abt ur 'secret' before it was exposed.
i tot nothing of it.
obviously i was wrong.
eventually you ran away,
ran away from me,
to her.

it's alright.
i stood by.
in case u stumbled.

indeed u did, for several times.
i know i cannot pull u up all the time.
i waited for u to ask me back.
but it never happened.
and i moved on.
i met someone else i can feel happy with
i tot u'd be happy too

sad it didnt last.
u stumbled again.
i helped u up again.
only this time, u thanked me and said,
u knew i have always been there, one phone call was all you needed
u have always wanted to come back to me,
but u couldnt make up ur mind...
until i found happiness, then u decided to seal that tot

those words were what i had been waiting for.

if u were decisive and if u spoke,
i will not make u cry like u did for her.
u know u can believe me when i say tt,
coz u jolly well know i say what i mean and mean what i say.




she told me to reconsider my options...
what should i say to make things better?





I only want you, to want me whole-heartedly.